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Headlines From the Daily Bull

Tech's (mainly) satirical student newsletter

State of Minnesota Closed for the Season

Report: 86% of Broomball Team Names Absolutely Terrible

Tech's Campus Confused for Hoth

Guy Starves to Death Trying to Find His Car in Lot 21

Chemical Engineer Gets in Way Over Her Head


by Danny Messinger '12

A students'-eye view from The Michigan Tech Lode.

"That was me, last Friday morning, in the library, snapping pics of my coffee and muffin. With earbuds in, I was listening to music, 'studying,' browsing Facebook and posting to Instagram. What is wrong with me?"

Katelyn Waara, news editor, on her increasingly intimate relationship with procrastination. (April 1)

"The first time I ever [saw] an e-cigarette was in Dillman, and I was caught completely off guard."

Katherine Baeckeroot on the fallout from a tobacco ban that went into effect on campus last fall. Should e-cigarettes also be banned? she asks. (March 18)

"The prices are expensive . . . even though [the food] is not high quality."

Yummy stir fries and salad bars not withstanding, Leslie Mundell blames the University for the Freshman 15 and upholds a hallowed tradition passed down through generations of college students: bad-mouthing dorm food. (December 10)

"After extensive research I discovered that, contrary to popular belief, soy isn't just that nasty tofu that you heard about watching cartoons as a kid."

You heard it here first. Garret Patterson determines soy is, in fact, edible. (February 25)