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Headlines from The Daily Bull

Tech’s (mainly) satirical student newspaper

Freshman Disappointed Winter Carnival Not Actual Carnival

NASCAR Now Sponsored by Every Known Brand

How Pinterest is Slowly Ruining My Life

Dining Hall Food Shows Promise as Bioweapon

Banana Hammocks Outlawed

How to Steal Food from a Fancy Tech Event

How to Lose a Guy/Girl in 10 Seconds

UpLode

by Danny Messinger

Ever wonder what today’s students are talking about? For an honest perspective on campus issues and events, we’ve pulled lines from a few recent articles in the Lode to illustrate what matters to students.

“I survived a sudden wave of hypotension that resulted from a sudden lack of stress.”

Alex Slepak, on an unintended side effect of snow days, in the “Ask Tech” column. Spring Fling, oozeball, and spring frisbockey were all canceled last spring—as well as one-and-a-half days of class—thanks to Heikki Lunta (or Father Winter to non-Finns). (February 26)


“. . . the MUB Board plans on selling memorial ‘bricks’ that are more modern and can apply to the high-tech atmosphere here at Tech. These bricks are made of transparent material that can be engraved with a donor’s name and lit up with LED lights.”

Writer Jane Kirby shares details of fundraising opportunities for Memorial Union basement renovations. Plans include a hip, coffee-shop-like lounge where local brews will be available at special events. (April 9)


“College is about learning how to be an adult, and in the adult world there won’t be a machine to help make responsible decisions.”

Lode writer Zach Evans comes down squarely against free condoms. A dispenser in Wads allows students up to three per day. (April 9)


“Pregnancy, from what I have heard, is not an easy thing. Having a child can completely change a person’s life.”

Jace Fritzler, in a “Point- Counterpoint” column on abortion. (April 9)