Keep in Touch

Before the college experience, many parents and guardians spend time with their student on a daily basis, discussing the day’s events, school, friends, and social plans. When a student transitions to college, living apart from family and friends causes these communication patterns to change. It can be especially challenging for those who have a close relationship with their student to be separated physically from them.

Whether you live just down the road from campus or hundreds of miles away, remaining involved in your student’s life throughout their time at college is essential. Especially in the first few weeks of the college experience, parents and family members are very inquisitive and would like to be reassured that everything is going well on campus; however, remember that students are initially very busy with meeting new people, getting adjusted to their new routines, and learning to navigate their new environment. Resist the urge to call your student several times a day, as it is crucial to strike a balance between their growing independence and support from home (without inducing homesickness) in those first transitional weeks. It is important to discuss your expectations for communicating with your student prior to the start of the academic year and to revisit them as needed.

From cell phones and text messaging to email, instant messaging, and Skype, there are many communication tools available to help you stay in touch with your student. Keep in mind that everyone has a unique communication style and that your preferences may differ from your student’s. Devise a plan that will not only allow your student enough space, but will also provide you with the communication and reassurance you need. If a quick text doesn’t suffice for you, communicate this to your student and suggest an alternative, e.g., a weekly phone call of at least ten minutes in duration.

Email is a convenient means of communication for both students and their family members. It allows you to keep your student updated on happenings at home, while letting them respond at their convenience. Students’ schedules don’t always afford them the opportunity to chat with family members. When time allows, you may find that your student will respond in more detail via email. Encourage your student to use their Huskymail email account, and promote this by sending emails to their _______@mtu.edu address. All official University electronic communications, including tuition bill notifications, campus safety updates, and important messages from instructors and campus administrators, are sent to students’ Huskymail accounts. Remind your student of the importance of checking this email account regularly.

Here are some helpful tips for successful conversations with your student (adapted from Let the Journey Begin: A Parent’s Monthly Guide to the College Experience):

• Use open-ended questions
• Reassure your student that the communication lines are always open if he or she needs you
• Avoid sounding preachy, using clichéd phrases, or continually referring to your own college stories
• Be open and honest about your expectations
• Remember to listen; sometimes all your student wants is a sounding board or someone to talk to
• Expect disagreement; you won’t always agree on everything, and that is ok
• Encourage and support your student
• Express that you care
• Don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions

Don’t immediately offer your assistance in all situations; suggest steps he or she can take to remedy the situation, or brainstorm together and encourage your student to develop and implement a plan