The Beginning of Understanding

Classes ended this week with the sharing of knowledge from a speaker by the name of Richard Gestland. His wealth of expertise came on the subject of cross-cultural interaction. This three-hour lecture has to rate on the top of the list as far as content and obvious relevance of a class is concerned. To sum it up, I loved what he had to say. It was very much a refreshing dose of reality explained. His teachings were partly responsible for this week’s article title "The Beginning of Understanding." In the previous weeks I have talked about the importance of observing, experiencing, and interacting with the culture around you when embarked on a journey such as studying abroad. This week there was a little different swagger in my study abroad self. I was starting to erase my ignorance and grasp understanding of the alien world around me.

Life in the US can be obviously stated as different. Back home I would consider myself someone who is outgoing and understanding. Not only understanding in a caring sense, but understanding of how business and industry are conducted. I have had two mechanical engineering internships with Fortune 500 companies that have prepared me for easy transition into the real world and paved the way for my future success, success in America that is. A couple weeks ago I titled an article “People are People are People,” and although that observation is still true, I am learning that people are inherently different. Differences in language, personal space needed, punctuality, relational or business focus, formality, eye contact, and physical touching boundaries. I am realizing that what we are taught formally in our schooling, and nonchalantly in our everyday lives—regarding manners, interviewing conduct, and shaking of hands—are not universally appreciated or understood throughout the world.

These behaviors we know as acceptable and take for granted in the States are not in other cultures. I do not fully understand yet what is acceptable and proper behavior in all of the different cultures this world is home to, but I am beginning to build the bridges. A good example of this came about this week when I went to talk about being from America to the classroom of Sophia, my host parent’s daughter. I was asked the question, “What is it like to go to school in America?” I had to stop and think for a moment, and I responded “Normal.” Of course it is normal. Everything we do is normal until we learn of someone who does it different, then we say they are weird. But really, are they? In their eyes they are the normal ones and we are the weird ones. I guess everyone is normal until you get to know them, that statement is true whether you are home or abroad. To sum it up, everyone is unique in some way. When I first arrived in Denmark I was so excited to learn about the Danish culture as a whole from the family I was living with. I was thinking that living with a family would tell me exactly how the Danish people are; how they celebrated holidays, how they took part in their children’s lives, how they interacted with others. They have assured me that they are as much different from the family across the street as they are from a family across the world. I think I will only be able to make broad generalizations about the Danish culture rather than unmasking exact characteristics.

All the observations that I just listed bring me full circle back to my initial feeling I wanted to talk about. I mentioned above that I feel I have some understanding of how things in America work. This understanding breeds a confidence that I think is necessary for success, a confidence that allows for one's personality to shine. This confidence is lacking when playing ball with different rules on foreign real estate. I have been fairly reserved in my outgoingness because of my desire to observe and learn. This week was a relief as I was able to turn my observations into feelings and be like my usual American self. I reached a point where my confidence is returning because I am starting to understand things. This does not mean my days of observing are over, but my days of observing will be a little more exciting now that I can feel like myself again.

School and my project work are getting a little more intense now. There was very little time this week for new experiences, but I managed to sneak in a day of “Castleing” this weekend. “Castleing” is our self dubbed word describing the art of visiting as many Castles as you can in one day. We visited two Castles; Frederiksborg Slot, and Kronborg Castle, better known as Hamlets Castle as immortalized by a Mr. William Shakespeare. These Castles were located in the countryside of the greater Copenhagen area. My fellow travelers were surprised to hear that I have never seen a Castle before. I mentioned that we just don’t have all that many Castle in the States. Both places were very much beautiful and I found myself having trouble contemplating the amount of work that must have went into constructing each palace and room by hand. Construction of these castles is truly a remarkable feat. My foreign friends have assured me that these were fairly low on the magnificence scale, and that there are much bigger and more impressive castles to be seen. I am definitely looking forward to more Castleing as I have just got done booking a Euro trip that will take my visiting fiancé and me from Paris to Barcelona and then to Rome. Just looking forward to this event is as much a part of the excitement as actually going on the trip.

My family, as I mentioned before, is really allowing me some insight to the workings of a Danish family, even if it is an isolated example. Every night at dinner, Lasse, my 10-year-old host brother, and I teach each other English and Danish, respectively. I will point to an object and say what it is in English, and he will say what it is in Danish. It has turned into a little game of memory to see who can remember more. I am on the losing end of this match as of right now. I also found out this week how much a haircut costs in Denmark, and I have decided to wait till I returned to the States to trim up rather than pay the at least $40 that is normal here. I will be sporting a shaggy look for a bit here in Denmark also, as I blew up my electric razor when I forgot about the 220-volt power outlets in Europe as compared to 120-volt power outlets in the US. Some electrical devices, including my computer and camera, have a power converter built in; and I assumed my razor did, but unfortunately not.

This has been such an interesting experience thus far. My views, attitudes, and assumptions have changed, molded, changed back, and morphed from one point to another, and I have only been here one month. We shall see what the next three months have in store. Fresh and exciting journeys for sure. I would like to end this week with a thank you to all those who have passed on words of encouragement since I have been here. It is very comforting to get a little love from familiar places and familiar faces. Receiving emails, phone calls, packages and letters is seriously one of the most exciting parts of my everyday life abroad. If you happen to know anyone who is away from home for whatever reason, school, work, or maybe even in service of our country, send them a little love. They will undoubtedly appreciate it.

• Thinking Deep in Denmark,

  

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