| Archives
for mtuparent-L (discussion list)
Subject:
Substance-free Housing
Fri, 11 Feb 2000
From: "Dennis K. Walikainen"
<dkwalika@mtu.edu>
A parent had a question about substance-free housing, so I asked our
housing director to answer it:
Hi,
Residential Services at MTU offers residents a number of different
lifestyles. One of the choices is the "Chemical-Free Lifestyle".
Room
assignments in this area are given to residents who, as a matter of
lifestyle, do not use alchol and tobacco products at any time.
More information about Residential Services can be found
on our web site at
http://www.aux.mtu.edu/ressvcs/
Sincerely,
John A. Rovano
Director Residential Services
______
From: D.A.
That WAS a wonderful plus for my son. He is in a chemical-free environment
at
the McNair Hall. All he had to do was specify this on his application,
I believe.
______
From: Susie
My son also lives in "Substance-free Housing" at MTU... but,
his roomate smokes marijuana daily (not in his dorm room), stashes it
in their dorm room , and sells it.
I have a feeling that as a son of very religious/conservative parents,
that it was his (the roomate's) parents who filled out the housing form
that requested that he (the son) live in a substance-free hall and had
their son sign it.
The R.A. is aware that the roomate smokes marijuana. His broomball team
has suspended him for several games due to his turning up "high"
at their games.
My son really wanted to live in "Substance-free Housing", especially
since his father (my ex-husband) is an alcoholic and wanted a "break"
from that sort of thing. God works in mysterious ways though... and now
the poor kid is living with another substance abuser.
This experience, and lack of follow-up/recourse by the R.A., has led my
son to sign a lease for an apartment for his sophomore year. His FYE living
in the dorm has been awful enough to cause his move out of the dorms.
As I've mentioned before, I'm doing nothing, at this point, but offering
my son a listening ear and encouragement to talk to his R.A., yet AGAIN.
(So far she doesn't seem very concrned.)
But of course, as a mother I am very concerned about his well-being, and
feel like raising holy-hell about the situation. I've been advised "hands-off"
by several people given the fact that my son needs to "forge his
own way in this world, now" and that for me to do anything more "would
be just more co-dependant behavior".
I write all this:
1. To make parents aware that substance-free housing, may not be substance-free.....and
2. perhaps as a cry for help and advice (again, sorry).
_______
From: D.A.
Are there two different types of housing? My son is in the "chemical"
free
environment which has little to do with "substances."
AND as far as I'm concerned, if I'M the one paying for the education,
my
son had BETTER follow the college's rules (and the law) or, I say
unequivocally, he's still not too big to smack around - tai kwon-whatever
not withstanding!!! (....or at the very least, I can dis-inherit him!
*G*)
Seriously, Susie, there's a time to interfere and a time not to interfere.
If the situation is just a nuisance circumstance like whether the child
stays out all night or doesn't get the sleep he/she should, or even study
habits, well that's one thing, but if it involves a breaking of the laws
of
the land, and your child could get caught up in it or accused of being
a
part of it, AND go to jail because of it, well, I say, get in there with
all guns blazing!!! Write letters, stomp pavement, do whatever it takes
to, at the very least, get your child out of that situation/environment.
Anyway, that's my two-cents...
Sat, 12 Feb 2000
From: D.R.
Troublng concerns. What has become of the rule of law ?
Is the RA engaged in illegal activity ? Seems that the RA
should be required/reminded / requested to report illegal
activity to law enforcement. And if not I believe firsthand
knowledge and failure to report is in and of itself illegal ?
Systemeic bureacracy is one thing....personal preferences too.....but
breaking the law is another. In fact taking this email, your info and
id
and sending
it to police and they could find the culprits....if the houghton police
are
legit and not just looking the other way when mtu is involved
perhaps you have uncovered a real problem here. I will watch closely to
see if mtu authorities take this seriously or just consider it bb gossip.
actions speak louder than words. let's see what mtu and the ra do ??
no one should be forced to live with substance abuse against their will.....
and teaching our young adults how to cope with institionalized law breaking
and ethics is a valuable thing to do.
_______
From: T.W.
Thanks for your honesty and openness. I would really like to see action
taken on this as I have a son planning on attending MTU in the fall.
The young adults need viable avenues to correct problems.
_______
From: Susie
Dear Tim, Thank you for your acknowledgement. I've often thought of sending
an anonymous letter regarding the situation to someone who can take action
at MTU. I guess, so far, I've lacked the courage.
I would hope that my son's situation is an isolated one
and that your son's chance of landing in a similar situation is zero.
I don't know of any college campus that has not been plagued with substance-abuse
problems, even the conservative religious ones have theirs.
I also hope and pray with all my heart that those students
who pledge to remain substance-free at the beginning of the school year,
do so. School is a place to learn and have fun, but fun does not have
to include using/abusing alcohol or other drugs.
_______
From: D.R.
Susie is right...the police seach of the room when the non abuser is there
alone could still lead to his arreset and conviction for possession. And
now that he knows and hasn't reported it to law enforcement he is in a
dilemma.
seems that he must report this or face the possibility of arrest. if he
panders to the 'i don't want to be a rat' or 'smoking weed ought to be
legalized'
emotions and feelings he will have to bear the consequences. You can't
fence sit or fool with the law. you are either law abiding completely
or
not ??
welcome to the 'real world'...good luck
_______
From: D.R.
one more thought susie....anonymous letters are not generally
actionable.....just
sour grapes or gossip...to the establishment usually. what is the problem
with a straightforward real legitimate report ??? what's your downside?
only if the info you are getting is flawed or exaggerated is there is
cry
wolf thing. are you fearful of retaliation ??
_______
From: Susie
Thank you one and all for your encouragement. Now I ask that you also
offer your prayers of support as the investigation begins. I have
divulged to the proper authority, my full name and that of my son
including his dorm address. I'm sure I shouldn't discuss the details of
what is happening until it is over, so as to protect the right of those
involved.
I do appreciate all the public and private letters that I have received
regarding this. There wasn't one of you that said to keep my big mouth
shut and/or my nosey nose out of the situation any longer. With such
support, I'm sure we'll get through this.
Please pray for the young man with the drug problem, too. His life is
as precious as my son's.
Sometimes the path we travel in life has to get very dark before we can
see the light.
Thank you all,
Sun, 13 Feb 2000
From: L.K.
I know it was difficult, but I think you did the right thing.Hang in
there!! Peace
_______
From: D.R.
Good for you for doing something proactive to deal with a tough issue...
a good learning experience for all.
Please let us all know at the appropriate time of your successful
resolution.
...or if after the initial public furor has passed if you are stonewalled
or
snowed and do not get an acceptable resolution, we;d like to hear of that
as
well.
hang in there and best wishes.
_______
From: Susie
Thank you, Dave,.... I'll let you know. It should be interesting. I
hope it will be successful.
Mon, 14 Feb 2000
From: K.V.
I commend you for doing the right thing. My son, Brian, will be going
to MTU next year as a freshman, and I have been pondering your son's
situation all weekend. In these days of gutless/hesitant/wishy-washy
parents, it is so heartening to know there are strong and committed
ones. Sometimes I think kids feel between a rock and a hard place in a
situation like that and it is up to us to act.
Thanks for your strength and sharing it all with us.
|