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| Archives for mtuparent-L (discussion list) Subject: Anxiety about student leaving home Wed, 16 Feb 2005 Dear MTU Parents - My son has been accepted to MTU for the Fall 2005. He is pretty sure that MTU is where we wants to go because it is among the few colleges offering a degree in Software Engineering. I am proud of him, but very nervous about the distance away from home - hence the reason for the visit. (We live in Manchester, MI) I want to be certain before we accept MTU that he is positive about his choice. We will coming up to visit the campus on Monday, Feb. 21. I am wondering if anyone can offer any tips on what we should see, or questions we should ask during our visit. My biggest concern is housing. I don't know what dorm is better than another. And I would like to make sure that he is housed with other computer geeks. :-) He is very shy. I am a mother of 5 children and he is my first to leave. Can you tell I'm having separation anxiety? Any information would be appreciated. Warm regards, _______ Dear MOM, As mom who lives about the same distance from Tech as you, he will be OK. I have a senior son who transferred from a community college, had very few friends and decided he wanted to go to Tech. After the first trip up there, he was in love. Loved the place and the people and the environment. Very shy and I am totally amazed at the man he has become. Still gets a bit anxious and worried about things, but is handling them much better. Has developed interests that I never dreamed he would. Spent a winter in the dorms as we requested and even lived on his own in Menominee as part of an engineering internship for 6 months. The most interesting thing was that he admitted that mom and dad did know something after as he put it having to eat some humble pie... He currently is living off campus and still growing. Called the other day and brakeline had broke on his car. Guys in the house helped him fix it. He was so proud. This is the kid that had to be reminded to get the oil changed. You will be totally amazed. Of course there is the homesickness and all that. Go to Sams and buy the phone cards. He will call and you willcall him. Keep the communication lines open. The sending one so far off though is horrible on the ole MOM.....he spent a summer in Wadsworth and a year in McNair.......good things about them both....they also find a way home when they want to get home....you will miss them terribly...this year was the first year my son didnt put up the Christmas tree. we survived. but ole mom was kinda teary eyed for a while...mom working on getting over the empty nest here near the Indiana line.....lose another one next year..... t _______ S: Take comfort. The distance is more than off-set as MTU is an excellent school in a beautiful setting with everything in walking distance. We've made the drive enough times now that we mentally can break the long day into segments, making extra stops or pushing through with minimal rest stops & "road burger". The Subway just across the Big Mac bridge in St. Ignace is popular stop. While you cannot stop by or student come home every weekend, it encourages
making friends and other activities which are part of college and growing. I think MTU has a T3 broadband line into campus to email and instant messenger tools go a long way to staying in touch a little at a time. Housing shouldn't be a big concern. They've been doing it for years and the students handle it well. DHH, McNair and Wads are the dorms. Wads hall is huge (long) although some sections are still under renovation making everything newer, cleaner with new furniture. DHH (Douglas Houghton Hall) is the oldest and centrally located although often used for upper classmen (not always). Off-campus housing is available and affordable. I strongly recommend being in dorm for first year or two as that is where you make friends. Things to see/do for your Feb campus visit. What you can do depends on how much time you spend there for this visit. There are many different options for winter and summer. When you visit next week, many of the Winter Carnival statues may still be
standing. They had a couple of warm spells so there is some melting. You can You can downhill ski at Mount Ripley (across the canal) or Mount Bohemia are more ambitious slopes and about an hour away. You can rent cross-country skis and use the campus trails (used for mountain biking in summer). Check for MTU sports games in town, such as hockey, volleyball & basketball.
Convenient & affordable. - If you have school buddy going up, get new roommate so you can try to make new set of friends & acquaintances. Then if you want to get out of the room you can go visit other buddies. - There are many choices for activities to get you out of the dorm. Find
several and make friends. As a parent, when you call/IM ask for names of people - Don't take too much stuff your freshman year. While there is cold & snow
weather, you want the right clothing & gear (not triplicate spares of - Wallmart & OfficeMax are a couple miles out. Wallmart is open 24 hours so it's often a student favorite late night run. - For breakfast, check out Suomis in town. Follow Rte 41 into town and turn
right (downhill toward canal) on where the overhang covers the street. It's a ____ My son is also accepted for Fall 2005. He is going for civil engineering. When we looked at campus summer 2004 we saw the copper mines. They are not far from campus and take you into what was a working mine. He chose first experience dorm, just to make sure he doesn't miss anything he might be interested in. D ____ S, ____ S, I think your son has made a good choice in schools and you shouldn't worry
about the distance. My son is a second year physics student and we From what I've read in the other responses is pretty much true. MTU is a
long way compared to other Michigan schools, but for what it offers it is We worried when he went up to school because he hadn't spent a lot of
time away from home but he fit right in. I think a key is to have him get Our son was in band and was able to get involved through the MTU Pep Band
and Jazz Bands. He's made a lot of friends. He's also joined the SPS Also, there are a lot of students from the Washtenaw, Lenawee county areas
so I'm sure that he would have no problem finding rides for the various In regards to parental anxiety. We all get it, all have it forever in some
degree, but MTU is a good school for kids who are interested in science I hope you enjoy your trip up to MTU next week. Make sure you get a full tour of the campus and check out the downtown and area shopping. P ____ S, I could not believe how much harder the first month was for ME,
rather than my son, who is a freshman this year. Nobody told me that I would My son was a bit shy, graduating from a small school with a class of 9. His
choice for housing was a "healthy living" dorm floor, thinking it would It will be colder weather on the 21st. Dress warm for hiking around campus!
Take whatever tours the admissions department gives; make sure he checks out
the activity center, and see if you can eat lunch in one of the dorms. Also,
make sure to time set up with a professor in his department. I let my son J ____ About this time last year, our son had been accepted by Univ of Mich, MSU,
and MTU. We made 2 trips to each of the campuses (Yes, MTU is 534 miles Well we bit our lips and said ok, "..it your choice". Well we just returned form visiting him at Winter Carnival, and I am happy to report that he is doing well. He has adjusted to college life better than we expected. He has many, many friends and is involved in so many activities we had to caution him on the "real" purpose of college (We have little to worry about he finished his first semester with a 4.0). Clearly he made a good choice. We look at some of his friends who went to the larger (and closer) schools and they are struggling. There are things a school with an enrollment of 5,000 can do that can't be done with an enrollment of 40,000. As for the dorms, our son is in Wads (one of the three dorms on campus). He
was lucky enough to get one of the newly renovated rooms and couldn't be As far as housing with other "computer geeks". From what I have seen all the students appear to be computer geeks (I found that out when I was setting up my sons computer on move-in day and had many hands helping me out). Our son entered the FYE (First Year Experience) program --- I can not say enough positive things about the program. It is designed specifically to help freshman make the transition to college. They form very strong bonds with one another through this program. They live together, go to classes together and participate in all the extracurricular together. Really a good thing. If he isn't into that kind of program, One of the dorms (McNair, I believe) has reserved a block of rooms for Computer Geeks only (they are called Living Communities). You may want to check that out when you go up (the University Housing people will be more than happy to go over the Living Communities with you). Your last concern --- the distance from home --- can not be dealt with very easily. My wife still cries most of the trip home after we have trekked up to see our son. I occasionally come home from work and find that she has cried because one of her friends was "..going up to see her son or daughter at U of M.." and it was sooooo easy. As a dad, I find that I often miss him also. But we realize that this is just the first step in a long series of steps that we have had to endure as parents. As you can tell we are very proud of our son and miss him dearly but we also know that what he is becoming (in no small way due to his experiences at MTU) is something we are also very proud of. The distance, rather than diminishing our love for our son has made it stronger. What we and many other parents may have taken for granted has now become a special "event". The occasional phone call, or e-mail take on a new significance. And, as I said, when we have the opportunity to visit him and see how much he has changed in such a short time, we know that it is a good thing. For the Separation Anxiety, I would recommend you get a copy of "Letting Go" by Karen Coburn and Mudge Treeger. It is an excellent guide for parents going through what we went through last year and what you are about to face. On a cheerier note, there are many opportunities for you to see your son during the school year. Here is what we experienced this year: August -- trip to MTU (Orientation) As you can see there is opportunity for you to see your son through the school year. Good Luck!! R and G ____ Actually we visited the campus around the same time as you are. In my experience the dorms were very well described by the person who led the tour. Our son was originally headed toward DHH. He then went looking for a room mate. This is a plug to you to use that on line Choose a Roommate forum which Paul found VERY helpful. Anyway his roommate was oriented more towards Wads. DHH was felt to be too "quiet". After a semester of sharing a hall with rambunctious football players I think they were both willing to reconsider the advantages of "quiet". However at Christmas they moved into the remodeled section, they left their former companions behind and as far as I know silence more or less prevails. As far as next year the latest that I have heard is that they will room together but have not heard a location. The take away is to carefully consider the student and what you are trying to achieve and choose accordingly. College for better or worse reflects the diversity of the real world. But like the real world there are niches available to meet your needs. Just find the one that best meets the students goals. ____ According to my son the First Year Experience was fantastic. He doesn't know why anyone wouldn't want to do it. He has had a wonderful experience and feels very close to his other first year experience group. They put them all in the same hall. If you son loves mountain biking, skiing, backpacking, etc. MTU is a great match. Small town. Very friendly. Beautiful area. ____ S; ____ C, The Healthy Living area is in East McNair Hall. Here is the information regarding this specialized living area: The Healthy Living House is a co-ed and chemical-free residential living and learning area. This living experience is designed to enhance your opportunity for a well-rounded and healthy academic experience. This program will assist you in designing and implementing a wellness, academic, and fitness plan that will encompass all aspects of healthy living which will help you succeed at Michigan Tech. It will also encourage you to get involved in your community and make new friends. If a student would like to live in this area or any of the other specialized living areas, here is the website with more information: There is an application located on this website that needs to be filled out and returned by May 1, 2005: http://www.aux.mtu.edu/ressvcs/reslife/moreoptions_frame.htm. Hope this helps! Jen O'Connell ____ |
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