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| Archives for mtuparent-L (discussion list) Subject: Adjusting to MTU NOVEMBER 2005 I have been reading your emails about
your children adjusting to life at MTU. My son is in his first year
at MTU. He has been begging me to transfer to a college down here.
I hoped by filing out the application to MSU, he would calm down. It
did not work. He calls constantly complaining that “they all stay in their rooms” and “there is nothing
to do here”. I am somewhat relieved to know my son is not the only
student having a rough time adjusting. Of course, I would prefer it if
he were happier, but I am hopeful that he will adjust up there. I am
so concerned about him that I insisted he go to see the counselor. Thankfully
he has an appointment this Thursday. Please feel free to email me with your suggestions about how to deal with this unhappy child of mine. I need to figure out a way for me to cope with his constant complaining. _______ Perhaps he would feel less lonely and start to become more connected to the campus if he didn’t go home so often. . . Many of the kids are from so far away that they don’t go home at all until Thanksgiving. That makes them have to take an attitude that they just have to make it work. _______ ... sorry to hear your son is not happy at Tech. My son ... seems to be quite happy at Tech. He’s so busy with all his activities there is no time to be worried about coming home. Hopefully, ... will enjoy the next semester more now that he’s familiar with what’s available at Tech. Good Luck ... _______ i thought my son was the only one ready to call it quits-he has even applied to a college down state for next year. . he doesn't dislike the school itself-just feels that there is absolutly nothing to do. and according to him the lack of any decent radio stations is reason enough to find another school. i guess the reality of college life doesn't always fit fantasy of college life. _______ The college IS very very hard, my son was a very high ranking student in highschool, very gifted and astronomical ACT scores. He struggled and struggled through the first year, and he actually got a D in a class too. He almost switched his major completely due to the difficulty with the courses......But he did not repeat any classes and he got fairly high marks in the other courses. I know he did eat and breathe the schoolwork and he worried about passing his classes. But he made it through, and he did say the first year IS a "weed-out" year. I think its a very difficult school and the programs are very rigourous, but I think its an extremely high ranking college as well. Now, in the second year, its still hard, but he has taken 18 credits. He does not complain about a lack of social life, a lack of things to do, and he only comes home (12 hours away) during the 3 long breaks.....there are tons of things to do up there for all the kids, from the outdoorsy ones to the nerdy ones. They have everything from broomball to hiking, to computer games etc. I think its not a typical "college" life like it would be if one lived in Ann Arbor and went to U of M, but its all a matter of what you are looking for in a college. You cannot go to a broadway play, a drama production, or a concert every weekend, but there is no more theft or drinking there then the other schools. Maybe what you have is a "city" kid living in a rural area. These are a lot of "reclusive" type kids, ours grew up in the country, and they are not "city" kids. That makes a huge difference. Maybe its just not a good "fit" but when my son got up there, he loved it immediately and continues to love it in spite of the hard work, and says "I have found MY People." He is not a real social butterfly either...yet he always has plenty to do. _______ I'm rather surprised to hear about these MTU concerns. I know that our son spends a great deal of time studying and has been to the Learning Center on numerous occasions. He rides his mountain bike, has been to various places sightseeing in the area. There are, also, a number of clubs and activities available to participate in. The majority of students do not go home on weekends, so I would think there would be opportunities to interact on the weekends. Have these students spoken with their RA's. I'm not sure how to respond to be more helpful. Hopefully, others will have some thoughts. _______ hey, college is different for every kid. one can love it and another feel it is awful. that does not mean the college is bad it simply t may not be right for that student. our son has never been happier. he is involved in 'his house' (which is made up of approx 40 kids), thinks classes are a challenge but is impressed by it because that's why he choose this college. he is content w/all his prof.s and in my opinion based on high school he is quick to be very critical if he thinks they are not doing there job. he wanted to be surrounded by others who were into acedemics. he has 2 jobs and a bible study on one night a week. he is getting all a's and has been backpacking and cliff jumping on weekends. he intends to come home only for the holiday breaks and spring break which is to be expected if you choose a college 10 hrs away. however, even if you thought all these things out ahead and thought it would be best and it turns out it's not to be, well, it's not the end of the world. i switched colleges when i was at that stage and it seems very unimportant now. maybe your son would be very happy somewhere else next year and end up w/ a great college experince. _______ I think the reason you never hear about the kids who love Tech on the list-serve is that this forum is set up as more of an a help line for parents. And after all the complaining about "too many" emails and redundancies in emails, we've become very "conscious" of using the list-serve as a help line. But my son loves being at Tech, despite the fact that he really has to study for the first time in his life. And that's after taking a lot of AP classes in high school. He likes his teachers and after a few bad grades has learned he needs to buckle down. He loves the fact that he's taking courses in his major area of interest his freshman year..a lot of colleges don't let you start your majors until junior year. He can't wait for ski season to start! But as others have said..what is right for one student may not be for another. Listen to your child, and if they're really unhappy there are a lot of other universities out there. As one of my son's high school counselors said the college needs to be good fit for your child! _______ My son is a freshman at MTU. He is studying very hard at MTU unlike high school. He is a computer science major and has 17 credits and works 12 hours a week. He is also involved in the Tae Kwon Do club. Yes, my son is stressed. Yes my son is working hard. But that's what college is about and that's what life is about. Don't stress about your kids working hard and struggling, it's a great life lesson. MTU is a hard school our kids are getting a great education and it is safe up there. Conisder the alternatives of going to school down here in Michigan. _______ As an Engineering grad of da Tech myself (EE '70), and the parent of a grad (Civil, '03 + MS '05), and a current Junior there, my thoughts are as follows: The Tech is not for everyone and it is possible that your son or daughter may be much happier elsewhere. I was born and raised a "city boy" (suburban Detroit) and freshman year was a REAL adjustment for me. It is relatively easy to get accepted there because they know they're going to lose a bunch of students during their first and second years to attrition. Academically, the school is tough, although believe it or not, not as tough as it used to be. Students leave for a variety of reasons, not all of them academic. For some it's home sickness; for others the weather; and some can't adjust to the downright desolation of the place. Really wanting to meet and overcome the challenge is what keeps people there. Yes, the courses and prof's there are tough, but the real legacy of Michigan Tech seems to be that if you actually make it through and get your degree you can wear it like a badge of honor. Not only did you pass all the exams and courses, you did it all in the face of adversity - adversity in the form of extreme cold and snow, being great distance from home (Houghton really isn't close to much of anywhere), a competitive environment, and just being truly on your own for the first time in your life. Prospective employers know that you had to be tough just to survive the place, regardless of what your GPA was. If you successfully made it through the Tech, after that you figure you can do just about anything, given the time to figure out how, because that's what you've become accustomed to doing. It becomes a way of life. Kids who sailed right through high school, getting top grades without much effort, will have the most difficulty at Tech. If you're a valedictorian, child prodigy, or another Einstein, none of the prof's will be impressed. The reason is that, no matter how "smart" you are you HAVE to do the assignments, attend the classes, and turn in the homework in order to pass the courses. We've all heard of schools where you don't even have to buy the books or attend most of the classes; just take the exams, in order to pass. If you think you're going to get through the Tech this way, FORGET IT. My son studied like crazy in high school, got over a 4.0 GPA, and was valedictorian. The most important thing I made sure he understood before going there was that he would HAVE to routinely track down his prof's to get his questions answered. He's now a Junior carrying a 3.96 GPA there and, rather than beating his head on the wall for hours or worrying about damage to his ego (feeling "stupid" for needing help), he chases those people down and gets the issues resolved, IMMEDIATELY. Yet he still participates in a myriad of activities and holds a part time job besides. In terms of activities in the Copper Country: Wow, it's hard to imagine
any other place offering the recreational opportunities that Houghton,
Baraga, and Keweenaw Counties do. It's a sportsperson's paradise, whether
it be hiking, skiing, skating, mountain biking, or just sightseeing.
If you're into history at all, just check into the history beneath
your feet there. You'll be amazed. If you have a son there and he can't
get a date for the weekend, he's not trying. The guy/girl ratio is
still lopsided, but nothing like it used to be. Lots of guys have girls "back
home" or just aren't into dating. If a guy wants to meet some girls there
it's certainly within reason to do so. _______ I suppose my question would be--what is there to do downstate? Or at another college? ( I was raised in the metro detroit area--my kids and myself are more involved with extra-c/s here.) In my expereince colleges in the Upper Peninsula have a lot to offer in both outdoor activities and cultural pusuits. My son is dyslexic and has had to work harder than other students all the way thru school--he did fail a class first term. He repeated it for a better grade. He works two jobs, and is active with clubs and other friends. He has been home once this semester. He usually comes home for weekend visits where he is mostly with his friends. He does mini-baja, too. I know he does his share of gaming and partyig as well. Collge is hard. There is never enough time. There are many distractions. Many activities. Theft has not been a problem for my son. He manages his own banking, car insurance and cell phone. He gets no financial help from me, some from his father. But he is paying his way with loans, state assistance due to dsylexia/disability, and scholarships. He knows if he faisl it is his own money he is losing. I think he holds himself more accountable for his actions beacuse of this. Last winter semester he could not affor his books--he did not tell me. He borrowed books going up and down the hall looking for someone who could lend theirs for a couple hours. he had better grades second semester LOL! I am proud of his independace and resiliency. I have a daughter who did not do well in college (NMU). It wasn't for her. She could not balance social and academics. My son at MTU may end up having to repeat a class due to low grades this semester?? It may be close. I would say he is TOO involved with activities. He will sort it all out though and do better next semester. Hope my feedback offers another viewpoint. It is well intentioned. _______ I agree here that universities and students MUST be a match, that's when the spring college shopping should answer the questions. No girls? Well, I think "talk" about the boy/girl ratio has been somewhat "legendary" as I remember it when I was a student at Northern 30 years ago. Ya got to remember a school that takes 10 hours to get to and you pass only trees, trees and more trees on the way, well, it's not gonna be a city-type school. And the reason that the classes are so tuff (and the school as a whole) is because it is MTU. I know all school tout their degree is a degree of excellence, but at Tech, it is truer than true. Corporations and companies who recruit from MTU expect a superb level of excellence and know the grads meet that high level. There's a ton of various universities w/personalities to fit our various personality of kids. If your student is not happy or feel he/she is fitting in, it may just not be the right fit. Have him stick it out, but also shop for an alternative ... just in case. _______ I thought you were describing my son. He too had a rough time as a freshman, but he survived to return to MTU again this year. He too, has said, "I found MY people!" He loves the small town atmosphere. His HS graduating class was over 500 and just hated all the hustle and bustle of the city life. He studies very hard and is stuggling in a few classes but refuses to give up! He frequents the math learning center and has gotten alot of help from tutors. He has always wanted to got to MTU and become an electrical engineer and he is bound and determined to do it. He is not real outgoing, doesn't like the party scene, but plays broomball, goes to the movies and loves to explore downtown. He is very happy and content at MTU. My son was #5 in his class in high school and also did very well on the ACT. He says he believes tech is tough for a reason, they are training the very best engineers in the world and ! most people who graduate from tech go on to much bigger and better things. So therefore the courses have to be tough. I believe he struggled at first because he never learned how to study(didn't have to in high school) and now he is learning how to do just that. MTU is a wonderful school, but it is not for everyone and there is help out there if you look for it. They also try very hard to have things for students to do, but they must seek it out. We just returned from a visit with our son and had a wonderful time!
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