I AM NUMBER FOUR

I AM NUMBER FOUR (PG-13 for moderate violence, some profanity):  Dreamworks took on the task of turning a young-adult novel by Jobie Hughes & James Frey into a sci-fi flick about John Smith (Alex Pettyfer in a role far too young for his mid-20s appearance), a seemingly average teen kid who is, in fact, from another planet - one of nine who have escaped to Earth, now being tracked down by some of the most laughably ridiculous-looking space men in long black robe-like coats that go flap in the wind - whose job is to eliminate the nine.  John is, as you might guess, Number Four, so the rest of the movie traces the hide & seek game for survival.  The suspense is tepid at best. 

For romance there's a kind of simplistic "Twilight" routine going on here between John and a camera hound, a precocious high school student (Dianna Agron), who - well, just recall any high school movie replete with bullies, a nerd or two, and more, in a glossy look that only the Disney Studios are capable of creating.

Written for the screen by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar, & Marti Noxon and unimaginativelydirected by D.J. Caruso, the movie does begin promisingly with the feel of an earlier sci-fi film, "Escape to Witch Mountain," but then takes itself far too seriously - so seriously, it begins to elicit chuckles, then more chuckles, then outright laughter.  Imagine, for example, those silly-looking planeteers, bouncing about like a team of villains from an old silent melodrama, or John's heeding the warning that he not stand out among the students by saying, "I known how to blend in," followed immediately by his walking around campus with a hoodie concealing his face - the only person around to be wearing one.  Or the girl's matter-of-fact shooting portraits only inches from each face, to come up with shots actually taken from at least a foot away.  Characters pop up in the most arbitrary manner, as if waiting just off camera for their cues. Or - oh, why continue with similar examples; what might have been a fairly entertaining kid comedy has resulted in an unintentionally silly parody.  (Grade: D+)