KILLERS

KILLERS (PG-13 for profanity, sexual material, violent action):  What is this?  A fantasy? An action thriller?  A romcom?  A spoof?  All or none of the above?  It starts as a James Bond lookalike that suddenly takes off as a dark satire on suburban living.  I think.

Bob DeRosa & Ted Griffin have written a mish-mash script that defies description, but, as simply as possible: the plot involves a woman (Katherine Heigl) on the loose at a posh seaside resort in Southern France who falls head over heels with a suave killer (Ashton Kutcher) who seems equally smitten with her.  They marry, move into a typical suburban community - typical?  Well, not really, as all those nice, friendly neighbors turn without explanation into murderous neighbors aiming to destroy the couple with knives, Uzis, auto run-overs and more.   Home is destroyed in the process (but for some miraculous reason is always in perfect condition after each onslaught). 

The smart Bondish beginning swerves toward a pleasant romance, then later, when all hell breaks loose around them, who can define the aim or purpose of the film?  Not only is the script in total confusion, but the characters have little to clearly define them; they morph constantly, perhaps to prevent the silly stuff from becoming tiring - which would be easily possible.

Why?  Because the supposed main issue, the romance between guy & gal, is zilch.  I now understand what is meant by total lack of chemistry between two people.  To be honest, Ms. Heigl does her best to bring some semblance of believability to her character, while Kutcher is about as involved as a store window dummy.  At times he attempts a Cary Grant persona, but without the finesse.     Relying in earlier movies on a certain boyish charm, he now attempts a more mature aura, but it's only on the surface; there is opacity underneath. 

One reason: he is at sea with the role, egregiously miscast.  Anyone, even an educated chimp could play the part better. 

Why did he get the part?  A glance at the credits tell you that he is one of the producers of this messy godawful flick.  As with "Sex & the City," there's a good reason for actors & actresses to double as co-producers; they always get the roles they covet.  And more often than not - as certainly is the case here - the results are the basis for a dismal failure on any level and it doesn't take 100-minutes to prove it.

Director Robert Luketic overdoes himself to keep the action going, throwing in enough violent, destructive action to fill a dozen thrillers; still he could not overcome the defects in a script that in the right hands might have had potentials, and with anyone but Kutcher in the lead might have come up with an amusing movie.  (Grade:  D+)